Writing to Oneself

Everyone has a different way of dealing with the pressure they are put under during the course of life. I have my way of writing everything I feel, and writing what I should feel and then reading it and drawing inspiration from it. (I inspire myself). And in those situations where I can't really describe what I'm going through and put it in words, I anyway describe the web of my mind in a covert manner. In one of such days I write....

So much on my mind nothing that I can think of to write. how disturbing it is to have all the thoughts so muddled up, and when you are unable to channel them towards a positive direction. How difficult it is to live in the present moment when you have such pleasant dreams about the future about which you're certain will never come true. Every morning begins with new ideas brewing about the best ways you can live your fantasies to the closest, and every night the day ends with forcefully sending yourself to sleep because you've failed again, yet another day. How strongly holding to the ladder of hope you climb day by day. Will things ever be better, the way you've wanted them to be? How much the uncertainty kills, and how you wish you could run away. How you're almost killed by the memories that never fail to play their games and compel you to wish you could live those moments again. And how the memories inspire you to fight once more, pick yourself up and move in the direction of the dream destination.

But then maybe, that is not the right way. The grief might be a hallucination. The mind might be playing a trick that disables the ability to be rational. The multiple thoughts, plans, what needs to be done and what you should refrain yourself from doing might not be the way to live. The future will come and there is nothing stopping it. Your present actions will have a role in crafting the happenings of tomorrow, but the tension succumbs your potential to act wisely and choose what will be the best, There might be a need to change the perception, wake up to a different side of the bed, and this time a positive one. The pain will go or maybe its not even real on the first place. The need is to waken the soul, do what needs to be done. Stopbinding yourself in the restrictions of thinking more and acting less. Free the mind, the body will be happier. Worrying might just lead to nowhere, neither where you want to be and certainly not to the the place where you actually ought to be. No doubt you shall make efforts but the despair must always be neglected. 

Stay Strong. Think Straight. Aspire Big!