Bad Mornings

My morning started with reading a random blog that had certain poems, and other literary pieces that were written in the most raw language but made so much sense and I loved it all to the fullest. Only did I later realize that it was a girl's blog from twelfth standard who had now been writing for the last two years. Doing my math, I see I am some five years elder to her, and we both have similar styles of writing (perhaps she is only better than me). I was embarrassed to read her posts any further, and thus I switched to reading other trending articles by professional authors. (That does not embarrass much, assuming they are experienced and it is their job to write stuff)

Now I just wonder what really went wrong, yes, I did not focus upon this passion of mine (of writing), but how else could I have followed the practice? There were times I did not want to write at all, and it was impossible for me to get started on the easy most topics even. Bad Mornings! I am extremely disappointed with myself. And, probably, the vocabulary has also been deteriorating with every passing day. I think I need help! Help reminds me of how I have become extremely forgetful these days. Its not only limited to the study related material, but also the novels I read, things I do or say, or things people do or say. I think am aging. Without excelling in any particular field, my life shall come to an end. Ugly realizations in the Bad Mornings! 

Anyway, so as it happens to one of those mornings when I've again woken up to the wrong side of the bed, I cancelled all the programs of socializing. I want to close myself in a box (with or without the breathing hole, right now, I'm just that frustrated). But then again, I believe I need help. Upliftment. And an extra-ordinary event only to make me realize that I deserve better which I'll achieve it as well. Because I do not really have any followers, I don't expect help, advices or comments, I'm just trying to push out the feelings. Like I've said before that Writing really helps. No, I'm not all sad or depressed, but when everything keeps falling into the wrong places with the very start of the day, its really frustrating. (Bitter Realization, Morning Fights, Worthless Instincts)

Okay, that's it. In the hope of having a better day, I'd resume to this amazing book I've been reading (hoping I remember what I read in the future days)...